So today was really boring. Which is actually not good for me, not just due to the waste of time. I took a workshop on social anxiety last semester, which helped me realize that my anxiety most often goes into overdrive when I have nothing to do.
Its kind of the opposite of what you would think, too much to do seems like when I should have the most stress and anxiety, but it isn’t. You give me way too much to do on too short a deadline I sit down, plan it out, and get what I can done, and drop what I have to drop to make sure things work out. Its when I work the most efficiently, have the most ideas for my writing, enjoy my books the most.
Give me a weekend with nothing, and even my will to read fades. As I sit back in my chair, and turn my neck to quickly, I get a slight twinge that continues to irritate me all day. At breakfast its an irritation, by dinner meningitis passes through my mind, I do have a runny nose and am a bit tired. Then I remember the twist, and that no, twisting your neck does not cause meningitis. Then I think it might be a cold, which it could be, and I panic, its going to get worse. I am going to show up to work on Monday with a cold, and what if I oversleep because I am sick, and end up late. I should bring a travel mug of coffee in case I am late, what if I drop it and it makes a big mess and I am covered in coffee on my first day…..Its about there I realized that I have leapt off the deep end of my anxiety over the fact I twisted my neck. Which may still hurt Monday, and ruin my day. I then had to run though the alternatives. Its equally as likely that everything will be fine tomorrow with my neck and nose.
Its the weather that’s the really issue. I have checked the weather almost hourly for the last day or so. The weather forecast for Monday has changed so many times I can’t imagine even they are taking themselves seriously at this point.
Anyways, I am going to take my last hour or so before I go to bed “early” in prep for Monday to read some more books. I gotta keep on top of my Goodreads 2016 Challenge of 156 books (overly ambitious I know). And well, its one of the few things that relaxes me completely.