So, at first I thought it was just me, but then reading the blogs I am following, it seems like no one is sleeping. I got about 4 hours Sunday night, before a 12 hour shift, and while I did go to bed on time last night, the sleep debt is still screwing with me.
For some people missing a little sleep is nothing, with anxiety it can be everything. To start with for me, it makes my stomach a little acidic, sometimes gives me heart burn.
Then it seems like every little thing is completely grating, the ticking clock, running water, that guy two cubicles over that won’t shut up. The computer screen and lights are too bright, the font is too small, and I narrowly avoided tripping over my own feet while talking to my boss on the way down for tea. Well I tripped, but I recovered gracefully without falling and pretended I always walk like that.
With a little less sleep every anxiety is amplified. That said, every emotion is amplified, someone forgetting to ask me if I am coming to lunch is something to almost end up in tears over. The anxiety however is tenfold, as is the distracting effect it has, and man is that a vicious cycle. Did I lock the car, oh no i didn’t lock the car, I will click again hear the beep, I locked the car. Now I am so focused on that I cant remember where I left the car. Will I be able to find the car, where did I leave the car, what if I wander around forever looking for it, and I have forgotten to lock my computer.
With increasing anxiety I get increasingly acidic stomach, maybe a headache, and of course worsening heartburn which always makes me believe I am dying of a heart attack. Tonight I skipped out on TV with the family, am reading early, and plan to be in bed, HOPEFULLY asleep in advance of ten. I wish you all a wonderful night of sleeping.