Fingertips

So I went to the doctor and she said nothing to worry about.  Most of the time that is fine.  But when I get tired and slow down a little, or i lay on my arm or sit on my foot and it starts to fall asleep.  I panic a little. This lead to the feeling of tingly fingers.

This is getting worse as I type, because I am thinking about it.  I keep worrying its diabetes.  This doesn’t make sense, because when I get distracted it goes away.  Anxiety induced, and entirely psychosomatic.

I think this entire thing is because I have been working so much the last few weeks, and I haven’t even got a chance to catch up on sleep this weekend.  The problem with anxiety though is even though I know its not real, not rational, I still worry.  I can’t stop.  Which is why i am writing this blog rather than reading fiction.  Some days I just wish I were like everyone else.

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Weekend

So this weekend has been eanxiety hell for me. Something minor will upset me a little and then it will come over me like a wave leaving me barely able to breathe.

My foot will be a little cold and then I am afraid it’s numb. Then j get tingly feelingd and I decide I  having a stroke.  Sometimes this makes me feel dissociated which makes the panic worse.

Last night I was seriously panicking, almost going to drive to emergency, and then this game I love that didn’t work with windows 8 started to open and for a minute u thoughts it would work. So I got the cd.  Then 5 mind later I realized it wouldn’t work. I realized my tingling and dissociation was gone. And then after thinking about it again it started coming back. Has been off and on since then when I am not distracted.

So basically this is all in my head. Going to the doctor tomorrow for my annual prescription renewals. I am going to mention the initial incident, and start looking into getting anxiety medication. I didn’t want it on my medical reports looking for a job, but I think not losing it might be more important.

 

Triggers

I find that I can go days without a major anxiety problem . Until someone or something hits a button of mine and triggers it. Yesterday it was someone talking about their glasses being adjusted wrong. I have fiddled with mind for the last 24 hours and now having forced myself to stop because even thought they feel “off” I am afraid of bending the metal till it breaks under repeated strain.  And I think I pretty much just make the nose peice slightly tighter,  then adjust them back. Not even changing anything

The hypochondria is the same, sometimesI go weeks then someone shows up talking about a stroke, or there is another Facebook article and off I go.

I never know how or when I will be set off. And my glasses are driving me crazy

 

Worst Case Scenario

So I haven’t been around the last few weeks. Because with the exception of a few minor incidents tge anxiety has been under control. Until Sunday.

Sunday I started worrying about the week I had scheduled. Then I sat on my cat. Them I sent half the night working about the cat. Monday was a long tired day that I spent worrying about Tuesdays sample prep.

Tuesday wax dreadful till I got to sample prep, which went well. Last night was all about worrying about the after work party I have to attend tonight.

Then I woke up this morning and it kicked in to high gear. I was laying with my arm under my head, reading, when I noticed my lip felt funny. I panicked.  What if my fingers were numb. One was on my left arm. It was probably the position I was laying in. So I decided I must be having a stroke.

So I really panicked,  got up freaking out. Start breathing fast, and I feel off now. Dissociated even. I calm down and my fingers are better and everything seems okay. But now the hypochondriac in me wonders, do I go to the hospital. I have a doctors appointment Monday, it will be a 6 hour wait at the clinic and 24-48 at emergency. Hoe much of that  was possible mini-stroke and how much of it was panic attack.

No slurred speech,  hands were level, no pupil problems. I keep feeling tingly. But since it keeps happening at my scalp as well, and that’s only caused by anxiety I can’t figure out what to do.

Problem was solved for me. Someone asked me a question and I realized as I turned back that all my ‘symptoms’ dissappeared the second I was distracted, and only came back when I thought of them.

I wish I didn’t always jump to the worse case scenario