Warning Here, I am going to discuss sex, kind of, but not really.
So I am a virgin, and I am 30. I don’t tell this to people because they think I am weird. So I really don’t tell them I haven’t kissed anyone. Only really dated someone once. Overall I found it to be more touching and more social interaction than I could put up with. It was seeing someone once or twice a week outside of school, and talking to them at school which we attended together. Not even every class, we only shared like 2/6 that semester. FYI this was University.
I find the male form attractive, and the occasional woman. I even like the idea of a companion to share the load with fairly attractive. My problem comes with the fact I am fairly happy on my own. Really happy actually. When I do want to go out, I don’t want to spend it man searching, I wanna spend it playing board games with my friends.
I do have a sex drive, I do read pornographic fiction, and I masturbate, more or less depending on the time of the month. I have no particular desire to have sex with someone though. Like I occasionally have the desire, but at some point my brain is like, you know you are going to have to like touch them right, and then its like meh, I could do this solo.
The idea of having a boyfriend, husband, even children some day, sounds great. But I have never really had the ambition to go after it. Now at 30, I am getting the clock ticking speech from people. Many assume I am a lesbian because I am not seeing anyone. I can’t figure out a way to tell them I am a far closer to Asexual then a lesbian, and given that I want to spend several hours a day alone, I can’t see dating someone let alone marrying them working out unless they are the same.
Also given the amount of control I like over my environment I can see that not ending well with another person. Basically me here, rambling about how to get close to other people while literally keeping them at arms length….