Warning Here,  I am going to discuss sex, kind of, but not really.

 

So I am a virgin, and I am 30.  I don’t tell this to people because they think I am weird.  So I really don’t tell them I haven’t kissed anyone.  Only really dated someone once.  Overall I found it to be more touching and more social interaction than I could put up with.  It was seeing someone once or twice a week outside of school, and talking to them at school which we attended together.  Not even every class, we only shared like 2/6 that semester.  FYI this was University.

I find the male form attractive, and the occasional woman.  I even like the idea of a companion to share the load with fairly attractive.  My problem comes with the fact I am fairly happy on my own. Really happy actually.  When I do want to go out, I don’t want to spend it man searching, I wanna spend it playing board games with my friends.

I do have a sex drive, I do read pornographic fiction, and I masturbate, more or less depending on the time of the month.  I have no particular desire to have sex with someone though. Like I occasionally have the desire, but at some point my brain is like, you know you are going to have to like touch them right, and then its like meh, I could do this solo.

The idea of having a boyfriend, husband, even children some day, sounds great.  But I have never really had the ambition to go after it.  Now at 30, I am getting the clock ticking speech from people.  Many assume I am a lesbian because I am not seeing anyone.  I can’t figure out a way to tell them I am a far closer to Asexual then a lesbian, and given that I want to spend several hours a day alone, I can’t see dating someone let alone marrying them working out unless they are the same.

Also given the amount of control I like over my environment I can see that not ending well with another person.  Basically me here, rambling about how to get close to other people while literally keeping them at arms length….

 

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