Listen to Me, Don’t Humour me- Word Vomit and it’s Complications. Originally this was going to be two posts but I couldn’t quite manage where one stopped and the other began.
I know for a lot of people, the problem with Asperger’s is knowing if someone is interested in what you are saying. I didn’t always know. I have read books, I have watched tv shows, and know enough about people leaning away, and looking towards an exit to gauge if someone is trying to get away. Not if they are interested or not, but if they literally want to leave. Most of the time. There are two problems with this technique.
- Word Vomit – Just because I know you want to leave, sometimes doesn’t allow me to let you leave. If I am telling you a story, or sometimes just talking about my special interest, I can’t stop. Sometimes it’s worse than other times, but I can recognize someone trying to escape as I give them a step by step detail of my theory of horcruxes, but unless you literally say something to stop me, I can’t. When someone does this it’s awkward after, and I often feel friends don’t leave the acquaintances bubble for fear of being sucked in. Actual friends just cut me off. I guess that’s why most of my friends have similar personalities
- Humouring- What I can’t tell is if you are interesting or are humouring me. Basically if you are not giving me the “I want to chew off my own arm to escape this conversation” face, I assume you are interested. The more often I discuss a subject with you and you don’t indicate you want to escape, the more frequently and often I discuss a subject. As a result, unless you are crazy obsessed, or willing to put up with crazy obsession, most people don’t last long. The downside of being Canadian is that most people are too polite to cut you off or randomly change the subject.
Overall being only slightly better at reading bodies than faces means I don’t know what an interested person looks like, just one trying to flee. I won’t even get into how hard it is for me to look interested. That is a subject for another entry.