When I get anxious, I have to run to the bathroom….a lot. I looked it up once, and apparently it is an evolutionary response up there with fight or flight. No one wants to eat something that smells like pee and poop. Its gross. Therefore, in the wild, you panic, you go, and the predator is like, ya, not all that hungry now.
There are a thousand things that trigger my rather sensitive digestive system. This week kicked off with KFC Monday night, Tuesday I thought I was going to die. I still at popcorn though, major trigger when already having problems. Wednesday I went out for lunch and had caesar salad, and followed up that night with a handful of popcorn. Still having problems Thursday and decreasing into Friday. Friday I went to Macdonalds for a Happy Meal, and went out that night fr St-Hubert. Saturday was okay, but by the time I had lettuce with dinner, I was no longer a Happy Camper. Now its Thanksgiving Sunday, and I am having corn, and I know tomorrow will be bad. Tuesday brings a lunch trip out which will be another no no. Given that I have one more lunch out I wanted to do it early enough that I gave myself a few days to recover before a 9 hour road trip Friday.
All of this has been because for two weeks we have company, which screws with my schedule and has me eating things I usually wouldn’t.
Where does anxiety come in, you may ask. Well throughout this food gauntlet I have been planning next Fridays trip, which has been going poorly. Between potential rain, ticket upgrades, and bad info in google maps, I have been freaking out about my trip M-W, F/S. And its screwed up my sleep cycle at this point. I honestly think its whats pushed my digestion for sketchy into full rebellion. I have most my stuff sorted now, and I am hoping that everything will calm down.
The problem is now all this bathroom running is triggering its own anxiety. While I can see a list of causes there is a part of me that worries that this won’t stop. That I have food poisoning, or something more serious wrong, despite no other symptoms. That I will have to stop too much on my road trip, or have problems at the festival. That anxiety is only helping perpetuate the cycle, and despite knowing that, I still think, what if I am actually dying?